The Loss of a First Pet

Yesterday was an especially hard day for our family as we lost our sweet dog, Toby, after being tragically hit by a truck.  It was truly a day of unexpected and unplanned moments.  To explain the grief we felt yesterday would be hard to do.

I grew up without pets.  Not even a fish.  And I was OK with that in all honesty.  Not long after Josh and I started dating in 2003, we were at Petsmart and saw Toby.  We both fell in love with him and while we say we both purchased him, he lived with Josh initially. This was Toby when we got him.  Just a little puppy!

Josh grew up with dogs, so he knew exactly what to do with him. Me?  There was a lot of adjustment.  Over the years I complained a lot about his fur shedding on our floors year round and the whining during storms.  Bless his heart, he was scared of any loud noise--the vacuum, thunder, hair dryer, etc)!

We've joked that Toby was our "first baby," but it's true.  He was definitely treated like royalty before kids came around!  I blogged about this not so long ago HERE.

Perhaps the sweetest friendship was that between Toby and Tyler.  Many family members were nervous when Tyler was born about how Toby would handle kids.  Even I was a little nervous, but Josh wasn't at all.   The day we brought Tyler home from the hospital, we introduced him to Toby.

Over time, Toby proved how gentle he was with Tyler and with children in general.  He was climbed on, pulled on, and probably even bitten at times!  But he wagged his tail through it all!  He was truly an outstanding and loving dog!

 

I've captured many of the moments between Toby and Tyler HERE.

I don't have another pet to compare Toby to, but I can say with Josh's agreement that Toby was an amazing dog.  We went through phases where he was allowed on the bed and then phases where he wasn't.  But in the past months, he was always allowed to snuggle up with us at night.  He was my protector when Josh worked night shifts and would sleep snuggled next to me all night long.  And then when Josh got home, he'd sleep with him all day. 

Telling Tyler was hard.  We explained in general terms what happened and that Toby was in heaven.  His face dropped and he was clearly sad.  But the first thing out of his mouth was "where's Ryan" as if to make sure Ryan was still here with us.  There were many tears explaining to him that Toby would no longer be at our house.  He understands about heaven, and we assured him that Toby was running and eating treats with a lot of other happy dogs.  Tyler wanted to see pictures and videos of Toby, so we did that which was probably harder for us to watch than Tyler!  We continue to answer questions as he has them about how long it takes to get to heaven and if he will see Toby when he goes to heaven one day.  Two friends of mine passed on a great poem called the Rainbow Bridge which I read to him last night. 

Coming from a position of not understanding how pets are a part of one's family, I can understand someone not fully "getting" how hard it is to lose a pet.  I remember Josh telling me that I would cry when Toby passes and not really understanding.  I cried a lot yesterday about what happened but also about the little reminders around the house.  He wasn't there to eat all of the food Ryan and Tyler dropped on the floor this morning.  He wasn't there on the bed with us last night.  And, when Tyler went to open the door to let Toby out this morning, he wasn't there either.  It's a large adjustment, and it will take time.  But I'm just as firm of a believer of fate with animals as I am with people.  This was his time to go, and we will have great memories of him for years to come!

Our family is missing you!