A Letter to Ryan on his First Birthday

Dear Ryan,

I remember that night a year ago very vividly, when you came knocking at the door in the middle of the night and three weeks early. I guess you were ready to step into this world and move ahead, as you do so powerfully since that day.

The kind of love you awakened in me took me by surprise. It’s not more or better than other love, only different.  Different from the way I love your daddy. Different from the way I love your grandparents. It has enriched my life even more than it was before.

And now a year has passed since that amazing day. In this incredible year, I saw your very first smile, heard your first giggles, and I cheered you on when you began to roll for the first time. I took video as you struggled to crawl because I was so proud and amazed at how far you’d come. And I rejoiced the day that you finally slept through the night at 10 months old.  

It was worth it by the way.

You came into this world, 6 lbs and 14 oz--a tiny little baby, so soft, innocent,  dependent, and absolutely perfect in every way. And now, you are a little boy--20 something pounds, laughing, babbling, waving, and charming every person who is lucky enough to meet you.

You are one today but beginning a journey—A journey that will take you in many different directions and teach you many things. As I sit here and watch you cautiously take your first of many steps in life, I think of the man I hope you’ll become and that I will do anything to be a good mother to you and help guide you in your journey through childhood and into adulthood. Your name means “little king,” and what a king you are to us! We hope to raise you to be an honorable man someday and with the integrity, strength, and spirit of a true king-- someone who is a leader and stands up and fights for what they believe in. 

Remember that when your big brother is not sharing.  :)

Know that I’ll be here for you on your path through life. You can count on me for being there when you need support in all its subtle appearances. I’ll be a hand to help you when you attempt your first steps and a hand to catch you in case you might fall.

You will fall at times.

Keep on filling the pages of your book in your unique way. I’ll be reading along and helping you along the way.

Happy very first birthday! You have helped complete our family. 

I love you,
Mommy