The B&*tch Slap

First, pardon for the post title.  But honestly, it only seems appropriate here.

In just three days, Ryan is turning two.  TWO.  Really?  In many ways, however, I feel like I've been referencing the twos for months.  The terrible twos that is.  That leads me to my post.

Hitting.

Yeah.  Tyler didn't do this.  He never hit like many toddlers do.  I suppose Ryan is making up for it though.  That leads me to my story.

I was at Target this past weekend morning with both boys trying to grab a few items.  I bought a bag of teddy grahams and put them in the cart.  Ryan screams, "cookies!"  I took note of where I was in my shopping journey and realized that although this is a major parenting fail, if I don't give in now, I will have to leave Target empty handed to avoid a brawl.  So, I gave in and opened the bag to give him some.  I managed through the rest of my shopping and headed up to the check out line.  I quickly ordered the cashier to ring up the teddy grahams and swiftly handed the bag back to Ryan before he could let out a full cry.  At this point, he had eaten quite a bit, so I casually removed the bag from his hands while talking in motherease language to distract him from my tactics. 

It most definitely failed.

The screaming started, the hands flailed, and his head and back arched back.  I firmed said "Ryan, no" while smacking him hand to emphasize my point.  That's when he was taken over by the redheaded boy in that movie, Problem Child.  You know which one I'm referring to.

Ryan took one look at me, slapped my face, and said, "No, Mommy!"

I was so taken a back that I almost didn't have a chance to glare sternly at the neighboring teenage girls who were dying laughing.  Why is it that people think it's funny when kids misbehave like it's a cute thing?  Anyway, at this point in my story to Josh, he asks, "well, so what did you do?"  To that I responded with, "well, I finished checking out completely humiliated that my 23 month old b&*ch slapped me in Target. What did you think I was going to do--put him in time out right there in the checkout line and take the chance that he'd bite my leg?"

The rest is pretty predictable.  He continued to scream as I bagged up and headed to the car.  Tyler pretended that his brother was the loudest thing he'd ever heard and cupped his ears while screaming, "Ryan, stop being so loud!"  And then people glared at us as I semi-forced Ryan into my car while giving everyone appropriate nonverbal communication that he was indeed my child, and I wasn't stealing him.

You're probably all thinking, wow she has a crazy kid.  Luckily, I don't.  He's just really opinionated and to be fair, I am not always as strict as I should be with him.  He's a total cuddle bug and definitely loves his momma. Yet, we have hitting issues, and ironically he only hits me and not Josh. I feel the love.

Suggestions?