Postpartum

It's hard to think that six weeks have gone by of my maternity leave, and I only have four weeks left. Especially considering that every week that's gone by I've dealt with a nagging rash. Today I went to another dermatologist in Raleigh who thinks that it's just never gone away since my PUPPS in the beginning. She gave me a higher dose prescription of predinisone, a high strength topical steroid, and told me to take an antihistamine twice daily. I really liked her a lot. She seemed knowledgeable and very helpful. We both hope that by staying on a stronger steroid for a longer time period (12 days), it will completely get rid of the rash and tell my immune system to chill out! The itching is just unbearable. And the sight of my legs is hideous right now.

I get a little sad thinking about going back to work. While I miss most of my coworkers and welcome a pay raise and promotion, I will miss Ryan more. I think in many ways going back at 6 weeks with Tyler was easier. I checked my work email and have close to 1,000 emails waiting for me. I worry about pumping at work and making time for it. I would really like to continue to breastfeed Ryan. I'm shaking my head while typing that because I hated it so much with Tyler. I supplemented at 3 weeks and quit at 6 weeks. But it's going much easier this time for me. The first 6 weeks were the hardest (if I can even say that they were hard). I've had small goals. My first goal was to make it 6 weeks. Done. My next goal is 10 weeks (which brings me to the week I go to work). That's a big one, but I will only be at work a week before leaving for a week of vacation. The thought of pumping 2-3x a day at work seems really cumbersome, but it's free. I have nothing against formula feeding. Tyler is a smart and healthy kid. But I can't imagine how much money we spent in his first year. So, we'll see. I hope I can make time at work to do it. I'm also struggling with daycare options. I previously mentioned that Tyler's preschool is opening an infant class July 6. However, financially we really need to wait until both Josh's and my raises are fully in effect. So, we'd like to wait to enroll him Sept 1. We have a neighbor who keeps kids and would love to keep Ryan on Josh's work days (3 days one week and 2 days the next). She will keep him for cheap. I've struggled with how I feel just about that in general, but I'm also waiting to hear if his preschool will even hold our spot that long. If not, I'm not sure what we will do. Cancel cable? ;) Daycare is expensive! But we knew that. We just have to readjust our budget.

Continue thinking about Ryan. His cold is still here. He seems in better spirits, but I'm still nervous about the ear infection not clearing up with the Amox.